Cashiers
by FBK
Summary: Boomer and Butch man the counter of a convinience store and a video store. Yes, it's an homage to Clerks. CHAPTER 2 ADDED.
1. Chapter 1

BZZZT. BZZT. BZZZT.

**

* * *

**

**Boomer**

* * *

BZZZT. BZZT. BZZZT. 

BZZZT. BZZT. BZZZT.

The hotline. Boomer could here it from right where he was sitting, but for some reason, she ignored it. Bubbles, a super heroine who was sworn to protect the innocent was ignoring a distressful call for help. She was probably assuming that the other girls would get it. Because they never really _needed_ three super powered girls to save the day.

After all, they were busy.

It's one of the most momentous occasions in a boy's life. Sitting right next to the girl of your schoolboy fantasies and waiting, albeit patiently, for that one sign.

The sign that says: _Come on, Boomer. I'm ready._

_She has to be ready._ Boomer thought, _How the hell could she not be? I've given her..._

He paused to count how many months he had been with the girl, only to realize that he had no fingers, and that mental math was a task that one should not force themselves to do unless it was during school hours.

_Well, it's been a long time is my point._ He continued, _Why don't I just go for it?_

She was sitting there so adorable. In her little Mary Jane's and blue dress.

_Does she ever wash that thing?_

She let out a deep sigh and took a sip of her juice box that was in front of her.

_Stupid straw. Getting all the action._

"Boomer?" She finally said.

And he froze, stiff, like the manhood he didn't have because he was five.

"Yeah?" He squeaked, quickly picking up his juice box and sipping it casually, realizing that this is the worst date he'd ever been on. (Which was sad, considering the fact that it was his idea.)

_Sit down and drink juice? The Muppet Babies would be having a wilder time._

_I suck._

"So what do you think?" Bubbles finished, now avoiding eye-contact with him.

Snapping out of his daze, Boomer turned back to the face that made him melt. "Sorry, what?"

"Would you..." She stopped short, obviously embarrassed that she had to repeat this, "I mean, would you..." Stopping short again, she simply scooted over so that they were sitting side-by-side.

Boomer had never realized how loud heartbeats could ring in his ear.

"I know how dumb you must feel, Boomie." She said, putting her arm through his and pulling herself close to him. "Any guy would, right? What guy has a girlfriend that won't kiss him?"

Boomer simply stared into her eyes, tempted to bring up the annoying Mormon girl that Brick dated a few months back, but stopped himself, "Bubbles, it doesn't bother me too much. It's okay, I still love you no matter what."

"And I love you," She interrupted him and took a deep sigh, "A lot."

Boomer took another long sip of his juice box, while nodding, trying to pretend like he was about to say something.

"I want to be a girlfriend to you. Not some awkward girl who just tags along," Finally, she turned to face him and began to lean in, "Boomer, I... I..."

"I can't believe how hopeless you are, Boomer."

Boomer sat up with a start, trying his best to rub the sleep out of his eyes to make out the blurred red image in front of him, and let out a loud groan when he realized it was his brother Brick.

"Wha?" Boomer could only spit out, smacking his dry lips and looking around.

There was no kiss. There were no juice boxes. Just the messy room designated for The Rowdyruff Boys in the Utonium household. Boomer could feel his happiness he felt in the dream disappear under all the red caps and empty pizza boxes,

"Dude, if the chick won't kiss you then dump her." Brick sighed, "It's not like people expect us to be romantically involved with the Powerpuff Girls."

"I don't..." Boomer sat up entirely, his scalp aching and his blonde hair sticking straight up in the air, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Boomer, you rolled over and started snuggling with me and told me to kiss you." He shook his head, "That chick is messing with your mind, intentionally or not. I say kick her baby-blue butt to the curb."

Embarrassed, cheeks rose-red, Boomer pulled the blanket over his head and groaned once more, "I wanna sleep."

BZZZT. BZZT. BZZZT.

"The hotline! Finally!" Brick gasped, hurrying to the Powerpuff Girls' room in a maroon streak.

"Stupid world," Boomer murmured, pretending he didn't hear it and snuggling deeper into his covers. "Needing saving all the time – OUCH!"

"It's for you." Brick said, leaving the room and calling out as he left, "Tell your damn boss to stop using the hotline to get hold of you."

Boomer rubbed his head and glared towards the direction of Brick before picking up the cordless version of the Powerpuff Hotline that had hit him in the head, "Hello?" He slurred.

The voice on the other end was the harbinger of a bad day. Never did the boss call to tell Boomer to enjoy his day off and that he had a raise.

Still half-asleep, he talked back into the phone in confusion. "Go in? No... no, I don't work today."

But the boss still persisted, assuring Boomer that he would be getting him out of a bind and that he would reward him for such.

Just like he did the last fifteen times.

"I just closed last night!" Boomer whined, hating himself for the fact that he knew he would give in within the next few seconds. "Why don't you call Butch in? I'm really tired."

Pleading like a small child, the boss proved to be more desperate then he ever had in the past, which made Brick's conscience begin to swell up already for giving him such a hard time. "What time are you going to be in? Twelve? Be there be twelve? Swear..."

And the guy swore up and down that he would be in by twelve.

Just like he did the last fifteen times.

Letting out a deep sigh, Boomer finally gave in, "Twelve or I walk."

Without giving the boss time to express his gratitude, Boomer hung up the phone, staring into the annoyingly cute red nose and smile on the earpiece that mirrored the hotline in the girls' room. "What the hell are you smiling at?"

* * *

**Mephistopheles**

* * *

Looking blankly towards the front of the store again, Boomer couldn't help but wonder just what had landed him a job at Stop n' Go in the first place. His abilities exceeded most of what other people could do, and Lord knew he was entirely too young, and that OSHA should have been notified by now. 

When Boomer looked at where he was right now, he couldn't help but show a perpetual frown. He was, physically, five years old. In actuality, he was more like 3 years old. But mentally? He was going through feelings so incredibly pseudo important and emotional, he could only assume this is what it was like to be around thirteen. This is why he dreaded his teen years, which promised to be a billion times worse.

Most of the early morning lazy-eyed contemplation was spent on looking at the past, when things made sense. When he knew who he was. There's no real room to feel content when you _know_ your purpose in life. This was, of course, to destroy The Powerpuff Girls. First, when he first set sight on them, it was like he knew. The good ol' battle of the sexes was in his blood at first.

Even after the Powerpuff Girls defeated them and Him resurrected Boomer and his brothers, the feeling of purpose was still there. The infamous Rowdyruff Boys. The counterparts of the Powerpuff Girls, and forever doing everything in their power to annoy them. If you were even matched and couldn't destroy them, then why _not_ annoy them? Then one day, for some odd reason, the color in their day began to fade. It was almost as if…

... People stopped watching.

No one was interested in the girls anymore and doubly so for their testosterone-driven counterparts. Almost overnight, it was a feeling of complete rejection. The world had moved on, withdrew any and all invested interest in The City of Townsville and it's super heroines. There were bigger and better super heroes out there. So much more options. So whether or not interest migrated from The Powerpuff Girls to newer and more interesting things... it didn't seem to matter. Townsville, at least to six color-coded children with super powers, had turned from a vibrant city of life and color -

- to a bland black-and-white town.

Because with or without people watching them, they were still there. The Powerpuff Girls and The Rowdyruff Boys, more or less _forced_ to coexist in a world that was tired of seeing them fight all the time.

It was The Professor, who insisted that him and his brothers start to earn their keep after living in the Utonium household for a month or so. It didn't go over too well with the arch villains of Townsville, most especially Mojo Jojo and Him, that the boys decided to remain apathetic towards crime fighting. After what seemed like numerous attacks on the boys by Townsville's finest bitter villains, Professor finally decided to take the boys in, even to the point of legally adopting them and giving them his name. They were all grateful. Boomer had insisted that the boys help out with bills somehow. Mow some lawns, walk some dogs - but Professor refused.

Refused, however, before him and Bubbles started dating.

Once it was obvious what was going on, Professor just happened to know a place that needed two register jockey's ASAP, and before he could blink, him and Butch were up at the crack of dawn almost every morning to open Stop n' Go.

"Excuse me?"

Boomer snapped out of his complaining mood to this small voice. He leaned over the counter to see a small boy looking up at him.

"Oh, sorry," Boomer said, scratching the back of his head, "It's early."

"No prob," The kid grinned.

"What can I get for you?"

"Just this," The kid stepped aside to reveal a twelve-pack of Budweiser.

"Oh, uh..." Boomer raised an eyebrow. No one this obviously underage had tried to buy alcohol before, "You're sure?"

"Yeah," The kid started, digging in his pockets, "And a pack of cigarettes."

* * *

For years to come, when summer let out for the Townsville Independent School District, one would only have to look to the small building that was home to Stop n' Go Groceries and Townsville Video to realize it.

Despite the fact that teenagers were staying out later than usual on week nights, and the arcades of the town had a huge boost in early-afternoon business, the 'block of stores' (as the town lovably referred to the two establishments) was the key checkpoint when driving from the suburbs of Townsville to downtown. And for the first time, Mitch Mitchelson and Mike Believe were standing at the front of the stores. Signaling to the entire town that school was out, and they had absolutely nothing to do because of it.

* * *

**Mitch and Silent Mike**

* * *

Nudging his friend, Mitch pulled out three shining cards from his back pocket, "Hey, Silent Mike... check this out, man." 

Taking the cards from Mitch, eyeing him as always, Mike looked down to see three very old, yet rare and holographic _Pokémon_ cards.

"I jacked them from that stupid paste boy Elmer," Mitch said proudly, "Freakin' idiot was gonna get them all sticky anyway, noonch."

Mike scrunched up his nose: noonch?

"I'm tellin' ya, dude," Mitch continued, "We take those cards down to the pawn shop, we'll get like fifty bucks each. Then we could buy some mad threads, and the chicks wouldn't be able to help themselves."

Shaking his head, Mike handed the cards back to Mitch.

"What?" Mitch rolled his eyes, "Come on, dude. You're always thinking up evil-ass imaginary friends. Why wouldn't you want some female attention?"

Ignoring Mitch, Mike pulled a pack of what seemed to be cigarettes from his pocket, and flipped it open.

"Dude, you smoke?" Asked Mitch, intrigued by this rebel behavior.

Mike selected one of the thin-white sticks and pulled it out, revealing that they were simply Dum-Dum lollipops facing down. He unwrapped the blue-berry flavored candy and popped it into his mouth, savoring the flavor.

Looking dully to his counterpart, Mitch sighed, "I knew it." He shrugged, "Ah, well. At least it looks like a cigarette... damn pansy."

Mitch, having the reputation of toddler troublemaker was just the same as he had ever been. This is why people questioned his new friendship with Mike Believe, who was always a sweet and thoughtful boy when he wasn't thinking up evil imaginary friends.

Many blamed Mitch for the current state Mike was in. For the last month, he had not spoken very much at all. The only time he would speak was when he felt the need to, as far as anyone could tell, hadn't happened yet.

Reaching in his own pocket, Mike handed Mitch a much different looking (yet just as shiny) card.

Mitch took the card from Mike and examined it, finally smacking his forehead and realizing the horrible truth, "Crap," He said under his breath, "_Yu-Gi-Oh_ is what's worth the money now, isn't it?"

Smirking, Mike nodded and pointed to his temple to indicate, while Mitch wasn't used to it, one did have to think every once in awhile.

"Sweet plan, Silent Mike," Mitch said, having an oddly approving tone to his voice, "Next time that little wimp Elmer comes back to get his cards, we'll give 'em to him... then beat the snot out of him and force him to give us any _Yi-Gi-Oh_ cards he has."

This time, Mike slapped his forehead, but shrugged and nodded all the same. He was hoping to expand his collection soon, anyway.

* * *

There was a few seconds of silence before what Boomer realized has just happened. A small child, no older than probably five had just asked him for a pack of cigarettes. With a case of beer in tail, no less.

"Uh…." Boomer stammered.

"And," The child started fishing money from his pocket, "How much is that going to be?"

"Look, I don't know what you heard…"

"I'm sorry?"

"But we don't sell to minors."

The look of confusion that now sat on the child's face was very sincere. Then, without warning, confusion turned into laughter.

"Haha." The child started, "You think I'm –"

Feeling awkward, Boomer decided to chuckle a little himself.

"I'm sorry, it's just been awhile since someone's done this." The kid continued, still laughing "I'm – haha- I'm not a child."

Boomer rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that someone who was obviously in kindergarten was going to pull the "I look little but I'm really older" routine.

"But seriously, I need a pack of Newports."

"Newports?"

"Yeah, regular please. How much is that?"

"I can't help ya out, man." Boomer repeated, "And Newports? Christ, it's bad enough that you're smoking at such a young age but menthols? Do you want to crystallize your lungs?"

"Hey man," The child, obviously offended retorted, "I already explained."

"Alright," Boomer sneered, "Usual rules, then. When I see an I.D., you get your cigarettes."

"I… I don't have it. I've bought here before dozens of times!" The child's voice began to get shaky and weak. "Why won't you let me?"

"Because you're a child."

"I am NOT!"

"Don't play games with me, kid."

Another customer walked up to the counter with a few items, and after surveying the selection in the back of the counter said, "A pack of Winston's, please."

Boomer got him his cigarettes and rung up the rest of his items. While he was doing so, the new customer noticed the child at the foot of the counter was huddled up in a ball, crying.

"Hey," The other customer started, "What's the problem, little fella?"

The child sniffed, "That man was MEAN to me."

"Aww…" The man looked back at Boomer, who was not amused at all, "What'd he do?"

"He won't sell me cigarettes or beer!" The kid shouted sobbingly, "And he sold them to you! Without having to see your ID!"

"Hey," The other customer started at Boomer, "Give the guy a break, huh?"

"I don't sell to kids!" Boomer shouted.

"Woah, woah." The other customer said, "Ya don't have to judge everyone by their looks you know."

"What do you mean, by their looks?! He's obviously a child!" Boomer tried.

"Has it ever occurred to you," The child entered the conversation, "That I might just have a disease that makes me look like a kid?"

"Yeah. Have ya?" The other customer asked.

"It might have crossed by mind, but he doesn't look diseased in the least! He looks like a perfectly healthy five year old boy!" Boomer pointed at him accusingly.

"Just what I thought," The man finished, "Prejudice."

Mitch and Silent Mike, who has been standing in front of the stores completely bored this entire time, were now knee-deep in business. Elmer had shown up just a few seconds earlier and was now incredibly scared, begging for his life and his Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

"No, you guys!" Elmer spat, glue getting all over the place.

"Ew, Silent Mike. Get that guy outta my face." Mitch said, shielding his face from Elmer's spit.

Silent Mike, who was the muscle by default (which he found kind of weird, because he was a lot smaller than Mitch) pushed Elmer away and onto the sidewalk.

"Mike!" Elmer said as he hit the ground, "You never used to be that mean!"

Mike shrugged apathetically.

"Now get away from us," Mitch said, "And if ya got glue all over our new Yu-Gi-Oh cards, consider your butt already kicked!"

"You guys…" Elmer groaned, "Please, my Dad just bought those for me yesterday."

"Really?" Mitch thought and turned to Mike, "That means they're like – BRAND NEW Silent Mike!"

Mike nodded and agreed. At the very least, they were worth a LOT more than the Pokemon cards Mitch had stolen, which were about four years out of style. He wanted to remind Mitch to get rid of the Yu-Gi-Oh cards now, too, because those were bound to go out of style faster than the Pokemon cards, but he didn't. He took the silent route.

"I just want to live in the world!" The child shouted, "Without being discriminated against!"

The Stop n' Go, which was usually dead until it got a little later, was now full of angry customers who all felt sorry for the child. The people were furious that Boomer couldn't see the child for what he really was. A hard working man who just looked like a child, so he claimed.

"Can you blame me!?" The child said.

"NO!!" The group of customers surrounding the counter shot back supporting. There were only about eight of them, but to Boomer it felt like hundreds and he was getting more and more nervous by the millisecond.

"Can you people just leave the store?" Boomer finally said, not combative, more pleadingly.

"Oh, YOU PEOPLE?!" The child yelled, seeming to be on the last straw, "Did you hear that, you guys?"

"Hey!" One of the customers shouted.

"What do you mean by that?!" Another one yelled.

"YOU PEOPLE?!" A third added.

"I didn't mean anything!" Boomer reasoned, "It's just, you're all being so loud –"

"No, I see." The child said, "A group of people come together, against the prejudiced businesses of this town, and we're told to leave."

"We're gonna shut you discriminators down!" The man from earlier shouted over everyone.

"YEAH!" Everyone agreed, "SHUT YOU DOWN!"

"SHUT YOU DOWN!"

"SHUT YOU DOWN!"

"SHUT YOU DOWN!

All of a sudden, there was a light breeze in the store which most people thought was the door opening. But the breeze picked up quickly and turned into a strong gust, which reminded most of them of a thunderstorm. The wind blew hard and threw all of them away from the counter on the floor. Everyone in the store was very confused by this, even Boomer, who still had his hand over his head to shield himself from projectiles he was pretty sure was coming soon. He put his arms down and slowly opened his eyes. The people who had been standing at the counter were now all apparently forced upon the floor. Boomer wasn't as confused when he saw a light blue dress out of the corner of his eye, hovering near the entrance.

"Who's leading this mob?" Bubbles asked.

All the customers, who were sore and dazed all looked at each other and then pointed towards the door Bubbles was standing in front of, which the child was now trying to sneak out of.

"That kid!" Someone said.

Bubbles looked to her feet and saw him. "You, huh?" She said, eyeing the child.

The child looked up at Bubbles apologetically.

"Got anything to say?" Bubbles continued.

"Well," The child started, "I just wanted to say…"

"Yes?" Bubbles urged.

The child's eyes were now glowing a very unhealthy and evil scarlet. When he spoke, his voice was now deep, demonic, and devilishly familiar, "That you people are PATHETIC!" He shouted as loud as he could.

The child, who was on the ground, now had red smoke pouring out from him and was disturbingly melting into the floor. The red smoke that had just started to seep from his body was now taking a tall, slender shape. The shape of none other than someone both Bubbles and Boomer knew. Him.

"Hello, Townsville," Him said with his calm feminine voice, "Been awhile, eh?"

All of the customers were still out of it, one or two barely sitting up from the floor rubbing their heads. The citizens of Townsville weren't as used to mind control as they were back in the day. The fact that most of them had been under the control of the child, now revealed to be Him, was hard for some to grasp.

"Everyone can go on with their morning now," Bubbles said, "Except YOU, Him."

"If you insist." Said Him, very pleased with himself as the confused and tired people passed him.

Slowly but surely, all the customers started to file out of the store with Bubbles holding the door for them, keeping watch over the red villain to make sure he stayed where he was. When the last customer left the store, she turned back inside the store to have a word with him.

"So," Bubbles started, "Who's ready for an old-fashioned hiney-kicking?"

"Oh. You could try, I'm sure." Said Him, "But we both know I could teleport out of this store in a split second."

"Yeah?" Bubbles challenged him, "I'd follow you."

"Yes, but would your sisters follow me?" Him asked snidely, "There's a rumor going around, you know. You're not as strong as you used to be."

"If you want to test that, Him…" Bubbles started, "We're more than happy to."

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't. My exercise show starts at 10:30am and I can't miss my Jazzercise." He chuckled demonically as his body become transparent, "Bye-bye…"

Bubbles' eye twitched as Him teleported out of the Stop n' Go. She was so annoyed she couldn't stand it. Mostly because she knew she couldn't do anything. Blossom and Buttercup didn't have time to deal with the villains in Townsville anymore. She didn't either, as a matter of fact. When they stopped terrorizing, the Powerpuff Girls stopped saving. But every once in awhile one would show up and annoy and taunt them. They were mostly right too – The Powerpuff Girls weren't as they once were. They saved the day once every two months – if they were lucky. No one really cared anymore what happened and the small crime that did exist in the city was taken care of by the police. Bubbles and her sisters were obsolete – to be reminded of this by someone like Him was a very bad start to her day.

Bubbles sighed, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Boomer tried to sound unshaken, "Leave it to Him to ruin a perfectly boring morning, huh?" Boomer tried to joke.

Bubbles wasn't really amused she hovered over the counter and sat on the other side to lean against the other side of the counter. Boomer shrugged and hovered over himself, joining her.

"He kinda got to you, huh?" Boomer asked, sincerely worried, and sat beside her.

"Uh, yeah…" Bubbles said, "Can you not sit so close?"

"Oh." Boomer scooted away, trying to not blow up at her, "Sorry."

"Boomer?" Bubbles inquired.

"What's up, Bubbles?"

"I really miss it," She said, sighing and putting her head on her knees, "Being a superhero."

"Do you?" Boomer tried to egg her on – he didn't really know how to act when Bubbles had a problem, so he just kept her talking.

"It just – it made me feel like someone, you know?" Bubbles continued, "I helped people and the world, like, everyday."

"Yeah…" Was all really Boomer could say, because not only was he a villain for most of his life, he wasn't really THAT into helping people when him and his brothers helped the girls out for a short time.

"So it's just hard when people like Him want to mess with us like that," She looked up at him, "You know?"

"I can imagine, Bubbles."

"Buttercup wants to run away."

"What!?" Boomer exclaimed, not really prepared the deal with so big of a family problem.

"To go find a place we're needed," Bubbles continued, "She says it's stupid that we're just three freaks who live in a small town – that we should find a place that has too much crime and help the people."

"Like where?" Boomer asked.

"She suggested Citiesville since it's so close, but there's a few places. Blossom says she knows some kids in Jump City who could always use help."

"Are you, like, thinking about going with them?" Boomer asked, incredulous.

"They are my sisters, Boomer." Bubbles said, "It makes sense to go where they go."

"I think you need to finally stand up for yourself," Boomer mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Blossom is the leader," Boomer said, "And Buttercup is the hot-head who is also bossy. You just kind of follow, don't you?"

"Wow." Bubbles rolled her eyes, "Way to make a girl feel important."

"I'm just saying, babe." Boomer tried to sound sensitive to the subject, "Just because you love them doesn't mean they should run your life."

"Well…" Bubbles started, "Is that how you think?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you love me, right?"

"So I say."

"So then, would you let me run your life?" Bubbles asked, "If I were to leave, would you come with me?"

"I guess that's up in the air," Boomer said, "That'd test me and let me know how much I really love you. In my experience, there's always one defining moment in every relationship that makes or breaks it."

"Hmmm…" Bubbles wondered, staring out into space, "How many have there been?"

"What?"

"Relationships." Bubbles cleared up, "You seem to be all pro and stuff. You must have played the field."

Boomer thought back as far as he could, "Including you?"

"I really hope it'd end at me, Boomie."

Boomer finished his mental head count, which really wasn't a count. Because he knew the number by heart – he threw it in his brothers' faces all the time. Because he had the most girlfriends. "Twelve"

There was a high-pitched sound of a power punch landing on Boomer's shoulder.

"Ouch!" Boomer said in pain. "Why'd you punch me?"

"You're a pig!"

"Well," Boomer said, rubbing his arm, "Did ya really have to go all super hero strength on me?"

"Do you know how many boys I've dated?" Bubbles said anxiously, she was now standing with her hands on her hips.

"Do I get to power punch you after you tell me?"

"Three."

Boomer chuckled a little to himself, mostly because Brick's number was only two. "Three? You've only dated three people?"

"I'm not a yucky boy like you are." Bubbles told him, "I still don't see how you can –" Bubbles started again, but never finished because there was a call from the front of the counter.

"Excuse me?" The voice was frail and small.

Boomer really didn't want to help whoever it was, since the last kid he decided to wait on turned out to be the master of all evil. But he let out an annoyed grunt and hovered to greet the customer.

"Oh," The voice said, "Hi there, Boomer."

"Hey, Elmer. What's up?"

"Just this." Elmer set a small plastic bottle of paste on the counter along with a five dollar bill.

"Ah, glue." Boomer said, going to his register, "What a surprise."

Bubbles hovered into view from below the counter, startling Elmer. To him, it just looked like she appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, Bubbles!" Elmer said, his voice full of pep now, "How are you?"

"Good, just spending some time with my boyfriend." Bubbles smiled.

"Oooh, you two, huh?" Elmer said, "Makes sense. Blue and blue."

Bubbles pretended like Elmer was witty, and the first person in the world to realize this. She forced a giggle, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Blue and blue."

Boomer handed Elmer his chance. "Anything else, man?"

"Nah, I'm good." Elmer said, "Hey Bubbles, how's your sisters?"

"Good." She said, "Bored, but good."

"Cool, cool." Elmer said, "Well, you two lovebirds take care, okay?"

Elmer, clumsily of course, made his way out of the Stop n' Go. Bubbles reminisced as he did, with a voice that one could only assume was trying to be polite.

"That was Ice Boy."

"No," Boomer said, "That's Elmer Sglue. We go to school with him."

"No, silly," Bubbles said, "I know his real name, but Ice Boy is a thing that Buttercup came up with. It's a kissing thing."

"Kissing?"

"Whenever a girl tries to kiss him, he goes all stiff like ice."

"Like ice?" Boomer asked, amused, he'd never heard this before.

"He puckers his lips really hard, so it's funny to try and kiss him."

Boomer shook his head, "Cuppo can be talked into anything."

"What?"

"Well, like you said, Buttercup kissed him." Boomer started to organize the cigarettes.

"No, I kissed him."

Boomer chuckled, "Yeah, right."

Bubbles let the dead air sit before she dropped her bomb, "I'm serious."

Boomer stopped his organizing. "You kissed ELMER?"

"Well…" Bubbles stammered, "Yeah, how do you think I knew –"

"Wait, wait." Boomer said, his voice full of anger rising, "Earlier when we were talking about dating you said you'd only dated three guys including me. You never mentioned him."

"Well, because I never dated him."

"You kissed him!"

"Well, I liked him for maybe two days and we kissed out in the playground."

"But you said you only dated three different guys –"

"Because I have only dated three! That doesn't mean I haven't just gone on a hunch and been wrong."

Boomer held his stomach, "Oh, my God. I feel so sick."

"Boomie! Don't, I'm sorry!"

"Well, ya sure as hell haven't kissed me recently." Boomer finally said, "And if ya do, I'm gonna taste paste boy and his mouth full of glue. How could you do that?"

"Boomer, please…." Bubbles pleaded, holding onto his arm lovingly.

"How many?" Boomer finally managed to get out.

"Don't get all stupid –"

"How many?"

"Boomer –"

"How many guys have you sucked face with?!"

"Calm down! I'll tell you in a second!" Bubbles started to massage her temple, very frustrated, "I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you dated."

"This is different," Boomer shot back, then added, "THIS is important."

Bubbles honestly had to think about this. There had been quite a few boys before Boomer came into her life the first time. Then he exploded and came back, not to mention the long time he was gone, along with the time he had been a bad guy. She took a trip down memory lane.

"Well?" Boomer finally said, impatient with her already.

"Something like…." Bubbles' voice went almost inaudible. "Thirty-Six."

"What!?" Boomer's super hearing gladly picked up this number, "Something like THIRTY SIX!? If you had kissed me, then it would be –"

"Thirty seven."

"I'm gonna be THIRTY SEVEN!?"

Bubbles started her hover over to the door, "I think I'm gonna go now."

Boomer started after her, "Why 'cause I finally got something on you?"

"Look you jerk, you never even knew how many guys I dated today because you never bothered to ask, then you act all nonchalant about dating twelve different girls, when I've only dated three guys!"

"Yeah, but you've sucked face with enough guys."

"Yeah!" Bubbles shouted, "I kissed a few guys."

"A few!?"

"The next one is going to be you, I might add!" Bubbles hovered up in his face, "In case you want to screw that up too!"

"Why did you have to kiss them!?" Boomer asked, "Why couldn't you just flirt or hold hands like any other normal person?"

"I'm going home, Boomer!" Bubbles yelled at him, leaving a very abrupt and upset blue streak towards the door.

Boomer stayed where he was wondering why in the world he still hadn't broken it off with her yet and at that moment, promised himself silently, that the moment would come soon when he freed himself from her.

* * *

**Resuscitation**

* * *

Standing at the counter of the Stop n' Go and staring out into space was what passed most of the morning time for Boomer, especially when he was called in on a day he wasn't supposed to work. If a customer did happen to pop in during the early hours of the morning, it took him a few moments to realize it. 

In this case, he didn't realize it until the customer was standing right in front of him, waving her hands wildly to get his attention.

It took him a split second longer to realize that it was Robin from next door.

"Oh," He finally acknowledged her monotonously, "Hey."

"Boomer, are you alright?" She asked, sincere worry on her face.

"Fine," Boomer said bitterly, "I got called into work on my day off after getting two hours of sleep and my girlfriend treats me like I have mono. But otherwise, pretty dandy."

"You don't have to be such a smart-alec, you know." Robin frowned, remembering what she had come into the store for and made her way towards the milk, purposely turning her back on him.

"I can't help it, Robin." Boomer said, letting his arms and head rest on the counter for the tenth time that day.

"Boomer, you can whine all you want, but it's ultimately your decision to be with her," Robin called from the back of the store, opening the door to one of the coolers and pulling out a gallon of milk, "People are in charge of their own destiny, no matter how you look at it."

"What, so it's my fault that I'm having such a bad day?" Boomer asked incredulously.

Robin let out a small grunt as she lifted the milk a few inches off the ground, half-dragging it back towards the counter.

Rolling his eyes, Boomer floated over to her and took the milk from her with ease, hovering along side her as she walked back to the counter, "Well?" He asked again.

"I'm just saying, you know how Bubbles is. If there's any one of the girls who would be the relationship conservative, it'd be her." She reached her pocket for the money her mother had given her for the milk.

"$3.25," Boomer said, not missing a beat, "So I guess you're going to tell me to break-up with her too?"

Robin fished four singles from her pocket and handed them to him, "Of course not," She said, "If there's any way for a five year old super hero to know what love is, she feels that for you. My advice would be to continue to wait patiently, just be happy you have someone who cares for you."

"Easy for you to say," He mumbled.

"Oh, please, Boomer." Robin rolled her eyes, "You're too young to have a careless libido, so anything that makes this situation hard is either self-angst or peer pressure from your brothers. I swear, boys think too much for their own good."

"Like girls make any more sense?" Boomer snorted.

"Sometimes I wonder." She took the milk from the counter and drug it to the exit of the floor, "Later, Boomer."

* * *

**Butch**

* * *

Mitch and Silent Mike now had some company outside of the stores. Two men, one of which was very antsy and anxious to get inside the video store. 

"Darn it!" The anxious man shouted, kicking the door of the video store. "I need a movie."

"Calm down, man." The other man waiting for the store to be open tried to calm him, "I'm sure the cashier is on his way. Probably just slept in."

"Man, my wife really wants it!" The anxious man grabbed the other man by the collar, "And we had a huge fight this morning!"

"Get your hands off of me!" The other man threw his hands away, "I was just trying to calm you down! How long were you here before me anyway?"

"Like –" The anxious man's eye twitched, "Fifteen minutes."

"And I've only been here fifteen myself," Said the other man, "The kid is only half an hour late opening."

Just then, another customer walked up to the video store. A smaller boy, with big green eyes and a green shirt.

"Kid's not here yet." The not-so-anxious man told him, "Been waiting half an hour."

"Half an hour?!" The green-shirt kid shouted, "That's ridiculous!"

"I know!" The anxious man said, "I need a video to save my marriage!"

"Darn!" The green-shirt kid looked inside the windows of the video store, "Where the heck is he?"

"I don't know!" The antsy man looked upwards to the sky for guidance, "I have no idea what to do!"

"What about the kid in the convenience store?" The green-shirt kid asked, "Can help us?"

"Nah," The not-so-antsy guy said, "Said the other guy was the only one with a key to the video store."

"Gosh…" The green-shirt kid sighed to himself and turned to the antsy guy, "And you said your wife wanted a movie?"

"Yes!" The antsy guy fell to his knees, "We had a fight last night because I told her I cheated on her when we were teenagers!"

"Woah," The green-shirt kid seemed engrossed in the story, "No way."

"Yeah," The antsy guy looked in his eyes, "We've been together since high school and have gone through ten glorious years until last night – when she figured out my one screw up. Then this morning she told me to go pick her up a movie from the video store – then she said, and I quote – 'don't screw this up too!'"

"Harsh." The other man commented.

"I think you should just face the music." The green-shirt kid said, locking eyes with the antsy man.

"Face…" The antsy man tried to understand, "The music?"

"Yeah, bro." The green-shirt kid told him, "So ya screwed up once, most guys do."

The antsy man nodded, agreeing, "Yeah…"

"So you thought with your libido once in the past." The green-shirt kid said, "But that doesn't mean you don't want to try for your marriage. Gosh, the last thing you want for yourself is to go through a guilt trip for something that happened eons ago. It just seems like she's gonna ride this for all it's worth – just milk your poor conscience till it's dry."

"Hey…" The antsy man's face turned angry, "You're right."

"Darn tootin' I am." The green-shirt kid continued, "Don't put yourself through such an ordeal. You should march home right now and tell the lady that you're not standing for this – that you want a divorce not tomorrow, but by the end of today."

The antsy man was no longer very antsy looking. As a matter of fact he looked more or less at peace. It all made sense to him now, and thank God for the little kid with the green eyes and green shirt because if it wasn't for him, he might very well have put himself through years upon YEARS of guilt for one teeny tiny screw up. "YOU'RE RIGHT!" He screamed.

In what seemed like a millisecond, the antsy man was across the Stop n' Go parking lot and inside of his truck. He backed out of his parking space with incredible aggression and waved at everyone as he passed the video store, honking all the way.

The boy in the green shirt chuckled to himself and dug in his pocket, fishing out a set of keys. He inserted the keys and unlocked the video store, walking in casually.

The other man, who had just now noticed what had happened was still standing outside, his mind catching up with him. Within a few seconds, the boy in the green shirt opened the door to the video store and leaned against it facing the man.

"You comin'?" The green-shirt kid asked.

It wasn't the best morning in the world for Butch Utonium. He was late for work – though that had very little to do with his morning being so bad. He could really care less about the Stop n' Go, and doubly so for Townsville Video which was the store he was the cashier for. No one came into that store – no one. The customer flow was so bad, it was a wonder that the owners made enough money to keep him around. He tallied it up one week, and found out that the store only made half of his paycheck in rentals and late fees. What in the world were they going to do with such a small amount of money?

Butch had given up on this day about an hour ago when he was drinking a cappuccino he bought from a corner store (that wasn't the Stop n' Go, since he refused to support the place he worked out) at a bus stop and ended up dropping it all over his lap. It wasn't enough that he was tired and he had to make a small trip to the only place he considered hellish, but his crotch now reeked of French Vanilla.

But even that much was no matter. He'd just take it out on the customers.

The man who had entered the video store with him had rented three movies. And even that much made Butch feel exhausted. Feeling overworked and underpaid, he made his way out of the video store, towards the Stop n' Go where he expected to have an awkward conversation with whoever was working today, if anything, for the sake of his boredom.

He was incredibly surprised when he walked in to see his brother, Boomer, manning the counter.

"What are you doin' here?" He said in Boomer's direction.

Boomer, who was reading a magazine looked up, "The other guy was sick so the boss asked me to come in."

"And," Butch began, "Of course you did."

"Hey," Boomer defended, "I'm just here for the morning. After the boss comes in at twelve I'm out. Did you open the video store yet?"

"Yeah." Butch said, "I was feeling charitable today."

"Horray for the city of Townsville." Boomer said sarcastically.

Boomer and Butch had just recently grown accustomed to seeing each other and talking all the time. When they were villains, all they really did was joke immaturely. It wasn't until the Professor found them jobs at the stores that they got to know each other. Boomer found Butch to be lazy and uncaring of anyone else's feelings. Butch found Boomer to be a goody-good who always followed the rules. But despite everything, they clung to their brotherly bond when the times got tough.

"Bubbles come to see you yet?" Butch asked as he took a seat on the counter, starting to read the morning paper.

"Nosy much?"

"Hey," Butch put his arms in the air, surrendering. "I just want to make sure you're doing okay on the relationship circuit."

Boomer sighed, annoyed. For whatever reason, Butch was the only one who would listen to him complain about Bubbles. But he never really helped either, "Yeah, she was already here."

"Were you submissive and caring like always?"

"Shut up."

"I'm just sayin'." Butch said, "The chick gets weird if ya try to touch her. Something is not right. "

"Well, it all comes down to the way I feel about it," Boomer said angrily, "So shut your mouth."

"I don't know how you think, dude. I'm just trying to put things in perspective." Butch said, diving back into the comic strips he was reading, "Just trying to help, ya heartless jerk."

"Yeah, well, don't."

"Well, you can bet I'm gonna stop. After a display of unappreciative jargon like that."

"Unappreciative? And why, just why, would I appreciate you condemning my relationship with Bubbles?"

"Not condemning! Giving it perspective. Dimensions, my friend. You can't spend your social life without thinking outside the box. If you assume that a one relationship can be one hundred percent without problem, then you've got a lot to learn." There was a small beat, then Butch put down the newspaper, "And anyway, I said I wasn't going to help you anymore."

"Oh, woe is me."

Butch hopped off the counter and headed towards the back of the store, "I'm thirsty."

"You gonna pay for what you drink?" Boomer asked off-hand.

Butch snorted, his voice off in the distance now. "No."

With that, Boomer let out an inaudible '_Jesus Christ…' _from under his breath.

"What!?"

"Nothing. I didn't say anything."

"The hell you didn't." Butch gestured to his head, "I may not have ears, but super-hearing comes with the sexy green package."

"It was nothing."

"Oh, you liar!" Butch pulled an energy drink from the cooler in the back, "You want me to pay for this thing _that_ bad?"

"No, whatever." Boomer said, starting to leaf through Butch's newspaper that he left behind, "Screw up the inventory."

"What inventory? It's _one_ drink, Boom."

"One drink now. Probably like four drinks a day, twenty drinks a week."

"I think the evil corporate chain that is Stop n' Go can survive with a few drinks gone – and since when does the boss complain about inventory anyway? I didn't even know he checked the damn thing."

"I'd just rather not chance breaking the rules, okay?" Boomer said, trying to end the conversation abruptly. However, he immediately regretted the words after they left his mouth.

"Breaking the rules?" Butch chuckled sarcastically, "Check out Boomer! Mr. I-Live-By-The-Man's-Rules. My God, I'd never though I'd see hypocrisy in the likes of you."

"Hypocrisy? How does you not paying for a Red Bull constitute a jab at my relationship –"

"– or lack thereof…"

"– with my girlfriend?"

"Look," Butch started, hovering back over to the counter," as far as Baby Blue goes, the chick's nuts about you."

"Yeah, right. Barely holds my hand, nags me every five minutes." Boomer shook his head, and then added sarcastically, "She's head-over-heels, man."

"She is dude, it's not her fault insecurity leads you to see otherwise."

"You know, I'm sure psychoanalysis from you has its perks, but I don't really feel comfortable talking to you about this," Boomer crossed his arms, "Besides, I thought you weren't helping me."

"Aw," Butch returned behind the counter, hovering beside him, nudging him, "Consider it a family handicap. I'm allowed to disown you at least once a day."

Boomer sighed, annoyed. He obviously wasn't going to get through this unscathed.

"I'd be willing to bet that the most frequent subject of arguments between you and Bubbles is Princess Morebucks."

"You win."

"Words of advice, Boomer. Let the past be the past, forget Princess. That girl kissed more boys at Pokey Oaks in a day than most Catholic Priests do in a lifetime. I get that she was your girl in the bad days. But the hero-villain field is chock-full of apathy now. No need to jones for the bad girl."

"Oh, I am not 'jonesing for the bad girl'."

"Right. That's why you and Princess talk on the phone every night and you complain about how, " Butch switched his tone of voice to whiney, "Bubbles won't kiss me! I miss being with a girl who could show me affection! The part down my hair is crooked!"

Boomer's hands shot up to his head, "No it isn't!"

Butch shook his head, "Look at you. Shallow to the very end."

Boomer looked around annoyed, trying his best to avoid Butch. He picked up the newspaper Butch was reading earlier and buried his nose in it. But Butch wasn't done yet.

"You don't think there's something wrong?" Butch continued.

Boomer didn't say a word. Butch had been at work a total of ten minutes and was already driving him up the wall.

"So you're not gonna say anything?" Butch made puppy-dog eyes, "C'mon Booms. Talk about your feelings. I'm your brother and your friend. I LISTEN!"

"Me and Bubbles are okay." Boomer said, "We're just moving slower than other relationships I've been in."

"Does she move this slow with ALL the guys?"

Boomer wanted to bring up the conversation about how many guys Bubbles had kissed, but decided to leave it be fore now. Butch was fueled as it was. "I don't know."

Butch looked at his brother. "The chick treats you like you have a crazy disease and you don't think anything is wrong? I mean, I'm sure that not EVERYTHING is wrong, I'm not saying she doesn't like you –"

"I don't understand," Boomer said, teeth clenched, "How you can have such an opinion on my relationship when you haven't had a girlfriend for months. You know, maybe the reason I'm so insecure is because of people like you? You ever think of that?"

"I'm just trying to keep you on your toes, bro." Butch said, "And I don't understand why ya can't just bite the bullet and admit that you're wrong!"

"No!"

"There's obviously something up with your relationship! Why the hell not?"

"Because I don't agree. It's a matter of opinion."

"Oh!" Butch threw his arms in the air, "You're not in accord, so that automatically makes _me_ the one who is wrong."

Boomer sighed and went back to the newspaper, trying to read an article about E. Coli in Taco Bell meat for the tenth or eleventh time. "Didn't say that."

"Did a good flippin' job of implying it." Butch said, turning his back to his brother and facing the magazine rack.

Boomer idly replied, "Sorry you feel that way."

"I'm sure you are." Butch sneered.

If Boomer was a little dimmer, or even if he learned to have a bit of naïve faith in his brother, he might have assumed that Butch would let it go. Because everyone needed a good argument sometimes, some people even daily – and be that as it may, most people know when to throw in the towel. This means, of course, when the argument is obviously leaned in the favor of the other person. It's incredibly obvious when your entire argument has been negated and your side can't go on with a case unless you completely ignore logic and debate on pure ego and ignorance.

That, most people would argue, was Butch Utonium in a nutshell.

"And what the hell does that mean anyway?" Butch asked snidely, turning to Boomer, "Sorry you feel that way?"

"It means – "

"I know what it means, Booms. It means 'Whatever you say, but I'm still right.'"

"What is your damage, bro? Why the need to be right?"

"It's not a need, Boomer, it's the fact that I _am_." Butch finally turned back to face him, "I can admit when I'm wrong! It grinds my gears when other people can't!"

Boomer and Butch were both distracted by a loud thud on the counter and both looked up to see a plethora of items on the counter. Eggs, flour, and cake mix placed on the counter by Mojo Jojo.

"I would like to buy these items, that is to say, I, Mojo Jojo will now make my purchase." Mojo declared.

Boomer took his few items and scanned them into the register. As he scanned, he could feel Butch's eyes shifting back and forth from him to Mojo.

"Saaay," Butch started, "Mojo..."

With a swift movement, Mojo's massive head turned towards Butch. "What do you want?"

"Making a cake, are we?"

"What business is it of yours, you bug-eyed miscreant?" Mojo shot back.

"Hey, man –" Butch started.

"Do not answer that! For I, Mojo Jojo, am fairly certain that the business of which I am speaking is not yours and is in fact mine, Mojo Jojo's!"

"Chill out, sir." Butch eased in, "I'm just trying to make small talk. Just being polite."

"Polite? You?"

"Well, yeah. I was going to ask you a question since you are all knowing…" Butch trailed off.

"Well," Mojo mused, "I am indeed all-knowing."

"I mean, wow," Butch reminisced, "Back in the day, you sure gave those Powerpuff Girls a run for their money. All those brilliant schemes – heck, even creating us."

Mojo nodded and smirked, looking pretty pleased with himself.

"So, don't get me wrong, I meant no disrespect – definitely not to my creator."

"Well," Mojo thought, "I can definitely agree partly. That is to say, you do owe me, Mojo Jojo, a great deal of respect."

"Cool," Butch said, "I know we've been out of your life for quite awhile but I was wondering if you could give us a little bit of fatherly advice."

"I suppose," Mojo said, "That I have done very little in my fatherly duties."

"But whatever you did was great!" Butch said happily, "Back in the day, even before Him brought us back, we were REALLY evil."

"Yes," Mojo agreed, "I supposed you were."

"Don't," Boomer said angrily.

"Cool it bro," Butch said, "It's just Mojo! Good ol' Daddyo!"

"Aw, shucks." Mojo looked at his feet, his green face starting to turn a beat red.

"So, our boy Boomer here is already on the playing field with girls." Butch started.

"Is he now?" Mojo asked, wide-eyed "Quite early, considering you boys are all together probably around two years old. Way to go, son!"

"That was my reaction at first," Butch said, "But Boomer is dating a Powerpuff Girl."

"WHAT!?" Mojo yelled, his baboonish rage filling the store, making it feel degrees hotter than it was moments ago, "MY CREATION? DATING A POWERPUFF GIRL!?"

"Yeah I know." Butch said, doing his best to sound worried so that he could annoy Boomer, "He's dating Bubbles. And not only that, but the girl won't even kiss him!"

"Why not!?" Mojo asked, furious all of a sudden, "Does she think she's too good for him!?"

"I don't know, Pops." Butch said, "But wouldn't you agree that there was something, even a little bit, wrong with their relationship?"

"Besides the fact that it's a Rowdyruff Boy and a Powerpuff Girl?" Mojo steamed, "Besides the fact that a being composed for solely evil and a being composed for solely happiness could co-exist in a relationship!?"

Butch brought his left arm forward and pulled it back in success, "Yes!." He turned to Boomer, "I rest my case."

"I hate you." Boomer told Butch.

"Okay, Mojo." Butch said happily, "You can go now."

Mojo took his cake supplies and exited the store in a huff, mumbling to himself: "Powerpuff Girl? The nerve…."

Boomer waited a few moments so that Mojo was gone before he reacted. Then, he turned to Butch and said, "Was that really necessary?"

Butch, who has long since moved on from the moment was buried in a comic book and looked up at Boomer, sincerely confused, "Was what really necessary?"


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**Quondam**

* * *

Blossom looked to the side, trying to get her sisters attention so she could read what they wanted her to do. It wasn't everyday that three usual villains of Townsville, much less the Rowdyruff Boys, came to your doorstep and told you that they didn't want to be bad guys anymore. 

If that wasn't weird enough, Brick and his brothers looked terrible. They were wearing tattered clothes and had enormous purple bags under their eyes – like they hadn't slept for days.

"So…" Blossom started, at more of a loss for words than she realized, "That's it?"

Boomer and Butch were looking away from the current conversation with The Powerpuff Girls. They didn't like admitting to this in the least. As a matter of fact, the sooner the girls told them 'no', the better.

Brick was the one left alone to make eye-contact with the girls and do all the talking. So it was when everyone expected you to be the leader.

"How do we know," Buttercup cut in, "That this isn't some stupid trick?"

Brick shrugged, tired of this already, "You don't."

"So then get out!" Buttercup shouted.

"Buttercup, we should listen to them." Blossom said.

"Why!?" Buttercup continued, standing up this time, "What's that going to do Blossom?"

Bubbles felt the need to finally speak up, "But what if they're really in trouble?"

"You expect us to believe – that the villains of Townsville are targeting you now?" Buttercup prodded.

Brick nodded. Why waste his breath?

"Because," Blossom confirmed, "Because you don't want to fight anymore?"

Brick nodded again.

"Why?" Blossom asked – half interrogating, half genuinely curious.

"We figure…" Boomer said, making the girls jump at the first words he'd said since they'd appeared on the doorstep, "What's the point anymore?"

"It doesn't bother you at all," Brick said, "That there has been a dramatic decrease in crime here? Didn't you wonder why?"

"Most no one cares anymore, kids." Boomer said, "The only one's who are trying to rectify this are old losers like Mojo and Him – but they're failing miserably."

"Hell," Brick said, "Word on the street is the Gangreen Gang is actually talking about enrolling in community college."

Blossom's jaw dropped, "_College?"_

"Hey," Brick said, holding his hands up, "I was as surprised as you. That's all hearsay – but they _have_ stopped breaking the law."

"I don't know what happened," Boomer said, "How does a town's crime just… stop overnight?"

"So we did our job." Buttercup said, "Thanks for tellin' us. You can leave now."

"Alright." Butch finally spoke up, hopping off of the couch, "To hell with this. I didn't even want to come here."

"Why _are_ you here?" Bubbles asked.

"Your stupid Professor told us to," Butch said, walking towards the door, opening it and getting ready to slam it harder than he'd slammed any door in his life.

"Liars!" Buttercup said, laughing coldly halfway through the word, "Do you really expect us to believe that?"

"We expect jack from you three idiots." Butch called back.

Blossom and Bubbles braced themselves for Buttercups reaction, ready to spring onto their sister before she started an all-out superpower battle against Butch in their own home.

But Before anyone could say or do anything, the Professor's voice came into earshot.

"Girls," He said calmly

All six of the super-powered children, even Buttercup and Butch now had their attention turned on the resident father figure, who seemed to have had materialized leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

"Boys," The Professor then said to the Rowdyruff Boys warmly. "Now is not the time for fighting."

"Did you really tell these three dirtbags to come to our house, Professor?!" Buttercup spat out, running the calm of the moment.

"That's quite enough Buttercup." The Professor said sharply, with just enough calm in his voice. "I did tell them to come over. But I had more faith that you would act more respectful and ladylike."

At the word _lady_like, Bubbles stifled a giggle – 'causing Buttercup to throw a glare her way.

"What!?" Bubbles said defensively.

Buttercup sighed and crossed her arms, "Sorry, Professor."

"But why, Professor?" asked Blossom, "I don't have a problem helping them if you trust them but… I just don't get it."

"It's been almost eight months since the last villain or monster attacked our town," The Professor said, "I think the worst of Townsville's dark hours are over."

He walked over across the room to the giant window in the front of the room – the one that out looked the front yard and, consequently, the cityscape of Townsville.

"Do you girls remember that on Thursday night, I went into town to get groceries?" The Professor asked.

"Yea!" Bubbles squealed, "Breakfast for dinner night!"

The Professor chuckled and looked lovingly at his most bubbly daughter, whose personality had landed her a name, "That's right Bubbles."

Butch heaved an inaudible annoyed sigh. Waffles for dinner weren't exactly the most exciting thing in the world, and he also felt that the professor standing in the sunlight of the window was a bit melodramatic.

"After I was done at the store, when I got back out to my car, the boys were standing right by it." The Professor said, "And I immediately was on the defensive. It seemed like they were there to ambush me."

Buttercup locked eyes with Brick "But they weren't, right?"

Brick rolled his eyes.

"On the contrary, Buttercup," Said the Professor, "I asked them to move and they quietly apologized; moving away without incident."

"_Apologized?"_ Bubbles asked, incredulous.

"Yeah," Butch said, "Regrettin' it already."

"I was so curious as to why they didn't attack me, so I asked. That's when Brick told me about Him kicking them out for refusing to wreak havoc on Townsville." Professor said, "So, I asked them to come and talk to us whenever they felt ready."

"Talk about what?" Blossom asked, "Being allies? Joining forces?"

The Professor chuckled, "No, I think the town is safe and sound. At least, it sure seems like the world at large has forgotten about us."

"Then what?" Blossom raised an eyebrow, not sure where this was going.

"I think that the boys should move in here."

And with that, even without the advantage of super-eardrums, you could hear a pin drop.

"The town has very little crime besides petty criminals, and the boys are all alone." The Professor finished, "I think we should embrace that shift."

"Yeah, you got that right." Buttercup said bitterly, taking another glance at the three color-coded boys sitting in her living room – the ones who had just a year prior tried to kill her and her sisters on more than one occasion, "Times are a-changing."

* * *

**Nonplus**

* * *

Walking out of the video store in a huff, Butch already had an introduction to the schpeel he was going to give in his head. The stupidity of customers cheesed him off so often that he didn't realize how they themselves thought they still deserved to breathe. How can people be so retarded? It was almost as if any kind of service in the modern world – video rental or otherwise – made them turn off their brain and expect the clerk to do all the work for them. 

Well Butch only was being paid $6.25 and hour. And he sure as hell wasn't going to shine anyone's boots for such slave wages.

Passing Mitch and Silent Mike, he continued to look forward; ignoring them. Of all the people in the world he didn't want to talk to after encountering a brain-dead customer, it was Mitch. He wasn't in the mood to lose any _more_ faith in the human race today.

"Yo, Butcho!" Mitch yelled.

"Not now, loser." Butch said, not looking at him and continuing to walk.

"Man," Mitch said as he watched Butch proceed to the Stop n' Go, "Why does everyone assume we're out to start trouble."

Mike shrugged.

"I think," Mitch said, "You need to stop being so stand-offish. That's what does it."

Mike tilted is head. _Was it?_

Butch flung open the door to the store, so fast in fact that the bell connected to it (signifying someone walking into the store) didn't even have time to ring.

"What I don't get." Butch said angrily, an octave higher than his usual voice, "Is…"

He stopped short, finding his brother Boomer slumped over the counter. It was way past the morning hours – almost 11:00am now. He'd had more than enough time to catch up with sleep.

"Boomer!" Butch yelled.

Boomer's head shot up, the back of his blonde hair standing on end once again. "Whum?..."

"I'm glad you got a nap in," Butch said, "While I was in the video store dealing with Townsville's _mental_ patients!"

"What?" Boomer looked around lazily, "I fell asleep?"

Boomer slumped forward on the counter, mentally noting that this was the second time today one of his brothers had interrupted his beauty sleep. No one liked him to be rested, apparently. He looked at the clock across the store, he'd only been napping for fifteen minutes.

"I had a weird dream." Boomer said.

"Another one about Bubbles finally kissing you?" Butch smirked, "Brick came by the video store earlier – told me about your smooching adventure with him this morning."

"No," Boomer said – annoyed that news traveled so fast. Not surprised, however.

"If only what just happened to me had been a dream," Butch said, "Bunch of savages in this town."

"What happened?" Boomer asked off-hand, not really caring.

"Some guy game in refusing to pay his late fees." Butch said, "He said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership."

Boomer rubbed his eyes, "Shocking abuse of authority."

"I just don't get where his logic stands," Butch said, "The drop-box was invented for the convenience of me to go wherever the heck I want during working hours. It's not my fault he was some paranoid idiot who _needed_ to leave his movies with a living thing."

"Maybe he wanted to rent more movies too," Boomer said.

"So… why didn't he just leave the other movies to avoid the late fee? People don't think." Butch shook his head, "What was your dream about?"

"Oh," Boomer remembered morbidly, "It was the day we showed up to the house."

"What," Butch said, "The house we live in now? When the professor decided we could live there?"

"Yeah."

"Why the heck would you be having a dream like that?" Butch said, then laughed, "Remember when Buttercup got all upset at me?"

"Yeah, that part was in the dream too."

"Totally could have beat the crap out of her," He chuckled.

"We owe so much to the girls and Professor Utonium," Boomer said, thinking as he did so.

"Dude," Butch said awkwardly, "Why the appreciative mush all of a sudden?"

Boomer braced, more for himself than anything, and said what he'd been thinking out loud, "I'm going to break up with Bubbles."

"Damn," Butch said, "More drama for the Utonium house, huh?"

"I just don't know how they'll take it as a whole," Boomer said, "They took us in, put a roof over our head, fed us when we were homeless – and what do I do?"

"Break the cute ones heart," Butch shook his head, picking up a newspaper from the stand next to him, "You heartless monster."

"Seriously, though," Boomer said, "Where do I get off? All they do for us and this is how I repay them?"

Butch dove into the newspaper, "You really need to stop having a conscience, bro. It's creepier than you realize."

"It's not that I don't care about Bubbles," Boomer said, "It's just that Princess actually treated me like a boyfriend. Bubbles is just kind of emotionally cut off because…"

"Because she's a toddler?" Butch said flipping over the newspaper to see the front page – the headlining story amusing him to no end.

"Well, so am I," Boomer said, annoyed, "But even as young as we are, there's _some_ dimension of like and love isn't there?"

Butch read and re-read the front page headline before he jumped to any conclusions, "Apparently."

"And anyway," Boomer continued, not aware at how little attention Butch was paying, "I think the arguments Bubbles and I are having are some kind of manifestation of a subconscious desire to break away from her so that I can pursue the possibility of a more meaningful relationship with Princess."

"And Princess is on the same wavelength?" Butch asked.

"She calls me most nights and tells me how much she misses me," Boomer said, "I think it's safe to say yes."

"Well," Butch said, "Then I think all four of you had better sit down and talk it over."

Boomer processed what was just said, "All four?"

"Yeah," Butch finished, "You, Bubbles, Princess…"

Butch threw down the newspaper he was reading in front of Boomer – the front page of which bore a huge headline that read: **MOREBUCKS TO WED ARABIAN PRINCE. **

Butch finished, "And Princess's fiancée."'

* * *

Outside the Stop n' Go, Elmer was in a heated debate with Mitch – who wasn't necessarily talking to Elmer because he _wanted_ to, but because today there was absolutely nothing else to do.

"I'm just saying," Elmer said, "That family is very very important."

Mitch blinked, confused as to where this was going, "I guess so."

"I mean, friends are going to come and go – but you're more or less stuck with your family, right? They're not getting rid of you." Elmer continued.

Mitch nodded, "I guess that makes sense. Sort of, kind of. Can you please leave?"

Ignoring him, Elmer said, "And, like, you should never take that for granted. Because some people don't even have a family."

Mitch stood there, hoping that staying completely still would get Elmer to go away. He'd heard somewhere that annoying paste-eaters couldn't see you if you stood completely still.

Or maybe that was a dinosaur or something.

"Right, Mike?" Elmer turned to Silent Mike, pleading for attention.

Silent Mike, who had been happily zoned out turned to Elmer in surprise, then looked to Mitch for some help.

Mitch shrugged, "I don't know man. Something about family."

"I was saying," Elmer sniffled, wiping his nose – which was covered in glue, "That family is really important."

Silent Mike, making the mouth motion of, _Ooh_ – patted Elmer on the shoulder. He had a good point and as a matter of fact, that was something that Mike held true to himself. As a matter of fact he had family coming into town today.

"If it wasn't for my big brother," Elmer said sadly, "I probably wouldn't have a friend in the world."

Mitch, much to Elmer's dismay, exploded into laughter.

"That's why…" Elmer tried to finish, "Family is so important to me, anyway."

Mitch fell to his knees, continuing to laugh, "That's the most… _pathetic _thing," He took a deep breath before laughing more, "I've ever heard!"

Silent Mike frowned. He had to admit that it was pretty obvious why Elmer didn't have a friend besides his big brother, but Mitch was trudging between mischievous and cold-hearted a little too closely.

Elmer hung his head in shame as Mitch continued to laugh.

Silent Mike looked over to Elmer worriedly. He had seen Elmer get this kind of treatment from the kids at school year round. It couldn't be that easy to pretend to be calloused all the time.

Silent Mike sighed, and walked over to where Mitch was pounding the concrete, laughing and overdoing it for anyone's tastes. He bent down on one knee so that he was on Mitch's eye-level.

Mitch looked up at Mike, tears flowing from laughing so much. "Did you hear that stuff, Silent Mike?"

And Mike Believe, with all of the might his small body would give him – punched Mitch Mitchelson in the face as hard as he could, square on the nose.

Mitch got up immediately covering his newly bleeding nose and letting out a croaky wail, "Silent Miiiiiike! WHAT THE…."

Mike grabbed him by the shoulder so that he was facing him head-on and with his hand made the motion of zipping his lips.

Mitch closed his mouth and nodded whilst Elmer looked at the two in astonishment, even more confused now by their new-founded friendship.

"I think I'll need some tissue or… toilet paper or something." Mitch said.

Silent Mike nodded and pulled another Dum-Dum lollipop out of his pocket, and unwrapped it, popping it into his mouth and heading towards the entrance to the Stop n' Go.

Mitch and Elmer stood there in silence for a second before Mitch finally said, "He's lucky I'm feeling merciful today."

* * *

**Praetorian**

* * *

Boomer paced back and forth between the two ends of the counter, still trying to process the story Brick had found in the paper. 

It didn't make any sense that Princess would get married to an Arabian prince. Despite the fact that he was pretty sure she had never been anywhere _near _Arabia, why in the world would anyone be thinking of marriage at her age? She wasn't even in first grade yet.

Butch entered the store once again, hands in pockets, "Hello sunshine."

"You know what I just figured out?" Boomer said incredulous, "Princess really IS getting married!"

"Well of course," Butch said, "It was in the newspaper. When has the press ever lied?"

"I called her house, pretending like I was calling to congratulate her," Boomer said, "And she said, _oh, thank you! We're so happy._"

"You called pretending to be someone else?" Butch raised an eyebrow, "Stalker much?"

"I just really needed to know," Boomer said, "And now I know for sure: I'm going to be unhappy forever."

Butch ignored him, "You know what I just watched? Superman Returns."

"Ah," Boomer said, "Did you watch it just for the neo-homo Superman costume or were you really just craving a bad movie?"

"Could have been worse," Butch said. "But I noticed something about it."

"That the girl who played Lois had _no_ butt whatsoever?" Boomer said, "I mean, I'm not a womanizer, but it looked like she put a wooden plank or something in her pants, where her butt should have been."

"That," Butch said, "And the fact that Superman is kind of a creepy angel-type figure in the movie."

"Like a Christ figure." Boomer nodded, "You know, this isn't the first time anyone's used that imagery for Superman. He _is_ the savior of Metropolis after all."

"I was wondering if that's the way everyone saw Blossom and her sisters," Butch said, "Like... little angelic figures that are all good and infallible."

"Like the Powerpuff Girls can do no wrong," Boomer said.

"That's what I figure," Butch leaned against the counter, "That would explain why they have such big heads – figuratively, not literally."

"Maybe," Boomer said, "When the crime rate was really bad, they were sort of saviors. They cleansed the world when bad was around. All that jazz."

"Do you think that's called for though?" Butch said, finally coming around the counter, "Who are they to think so highly of themselves?"

"Well let's see," Boomer said, "They've stopped more than one disaster and saved hundreds – thousands of lives. Don't you think they've earned the room to be as overzealous about their righteousness as they see fit?"

"Well yeah, _I_ do." Butch admitted, "But let's look at my credentials: I'm a roughhousing six year old with super powers. I've committed crimes – I've damn near killed people."

"But thanks to the girls, you didn't," Boomer added.

"Let me finish," Butch snapped, "The point is, it's expected of me because I'm an imperfect person and happy to admit it. But if the girls are imperfect but people continue to see them as perfect, and we embrace the hypocrisy of them being egocentric and selfish about their standing in society – where the hells the justice in that?"

"I think," Boomer said, "You've thought way too much into this."

"Have I?" Butch said, "You never hear anything come from Metropolis about Superman being the embodiment of sweetness and right. But here in Townsville the Powerpuff Girls are always at the top of the totem poll. They _never_ get accused of _anything_. Even by the tabloids."

Boomer yawned.

"Supes actually has people attacking him constantly – claiming he thinks he's so much higher than the rest of the world," Butch went on – his temper rising more and more as he continued to talk, "But here, our superheroes are actually the ones who need to be kicked off of their high horse."

Just then a customer walked up to the counter, much to the surprise of Butch and Boomer who had not even realized that someone had entered the store – he had a bag of chips and a soda.

"Just this?" Boomer asked, ringing up the items.

"Yeah," The customer said, "And a pack of cigarettes."

Since he didn't specify which kind, Boomer simply reached up towards the cigarettes and picked one for him. Customers did that often – expecting him to read their minds. Though interestingly enough, very rarely did anyone correct him. Townsville wasn't picky about their nicotine habits, he just figured they needed the fix and the actual kind of cigarette could be damned for all they cared.

"I'm sorry," The customer said as he reached for his wallet, "But what were you just talking about?"

"My friend here is trying to convince me that The Powerpuff Girls are actually corrupt superheroes and Superman is constantly getting the flack that they deserve." Boomer said dully, eyeing Butch who pretended to ignore him.

"Well," The customer cleared his throat, "If you don't mind my opinion – I'm Adam Eastbrook, I used to be a roofer in Metropolis." He produced a business card.

Boomer took the business card and read it – handing it to Butch, who didn't give it one look and threw it to the side.

"You have something to add?" Butch said.

"Well," Adam started, "I don't know too much about nothin' – but I did see some interesting things in my days in Metropolis. Big city, big secrets – you know?"

Boomer and Butch nodded.

"One day," Adam said, "I was working the on a termite problem in the roof of a big bright red building in downtown Metropolis – right next to the Premium Outlet stores."

Butch said, "You were on top of the roof of the Buzz Cola building?"

"Buzz Cola building?" Boomer asked, confused.

"Yeah dude," Butch said, eyes lit up, "It's this gigantic skyscraper in downtown Metropolis – it's _bright_ red, like blindingly. They do taste testing for new flavors of Buzz Cola there daily and that's where their corporate offices are located. I also hear they give away a years supply of the drink to a random visitor every day."

"Really?" Boomer said, "I've never heard of it."

"Well you've never been to downtown Metropolis, have you?" Butch smirked, crossing his arms.

"And when did _you _go!?" Boomer shot back, annoyed his brother was trying to look cooler than him in front of a total stranger.

"Long story," Butch sniffed.

"Anyway," Adam continued, "I was working on that roof – inside the vent systems basically, trying to clear this termite problem to do a complete overhaul on their roof. Big corporate job, ya know? When I hear these shouts, really violent shouts coming from one of the rooms straight below me. I look down to see our boy in blue Superman – yelling at the top of his lungs at this kid in a suit. Saying things like, _you expect me to accept this? Do you want me to spit in your face? _Really dirty. Not like the Supes we see on the TV."

"Wow," Butch said leaning in, a lot more intrigued than he had planned to be originally, "What was it about?"

"They was trying to buy him! Make him drink their Buzz Cola on television or something. But their offer was too low so he told them they were idiots for thinking he would accept so low and offer and," Adam made a flying notion with his hand, complete with _whoosh_ sound, "Flew out their window. Didn't even open it – broke the glass. Cost them $3,000 to replace that window."

"Wow," Boomer said, awed.

"Now, I'm sure some superheroes get big heads about savin' people," Adam said, "That's just human nature. Everyone has it – no matter what, you start to become sure of yourself sooner or later. Some call it ego, I call it self confidence."

Boomer glanced over at Butch who crossed his arms stubbornly.

"But I'd be willing to bet good money," Adam said, "That the Powerpuffs aren't taking money under the table from big corporations. They live in a little house with their professor guy or something, right?"

Boomer and Butch looked at each other.

"Yeah," Butch said, "So we hear."

"But at least they haven't lost touch with the fact that the people are the ones who matter," Adam said, "Am I right? They haven't been corrupted by money."

"Eh…" Butch said.

Boomer smiled at Butch's discomfort, "I agree completely."

"A superhero listens to this," Adam gestured to his heart, "Not his wallet."

And with that, Adam exited the Stop n' Go.

* * *

**Vendee**

* * *

Butch was back manning his post at Townsville Video right next door to the Stop n' Go – as much as he didn't want to. Sitting behind this counter was probably one of the most boring things he could even _consider_ thinking about, but every once in awhile Boomer got annoyed to the point where he kicked him out of the store, and this was the only other place to go. 

Mitch and Silent Mike were outside, rambling about something with Elmer and some other person who was out there. Butch could see another silhouette shadowed on the sidewalk, and if he craned his neck far enough he could theoretically actually see who the fourth person was outside.

He didn't care enough to put forth that much effort and just leaned back against the wall, hovering instead of using a chair.

Just then, the door to the video store flung open, setting off the automatic small _beep _when someone entered the store. The old woman who entered the store was all in a flutter and had a look of mixed disgust-awe-frustration on her face. Butch was intrigued by this.

"Afternoon, sunshine," Butch said.

"Who in the _world_," The old woman said, her breath bitter and shallow, "Do you think you are?"

Butch cocked an eyebrow and said, "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together," He waited for a reaction but got none, "I am the eggman."

The old lady looked like her head was going to explode, "WHAT?!"

Butch shrugged. How could someone so old not get a Beatles reference?

"Smart-alec little punk," The old woman spat, "I could put this place out of business, put you out of a job."

"Wait," Butch said, "What's going on again?"

"I came in here earlier today asking for a good family film," She said.

Butch blinked. He couldn't remember her for the life of him – then again, he couldn't remember the last time he helped _anyone_ in the video store. He tried to block those kinds of things out.

"Okay," Butch allowed. He had to assume she was telling the truth.

"And you paid me absolutely no attention!" She threw her arms above her head dramatically.

"Well," Butch said, "I don't think that's entirely true. I give the utmost first class service to my customers here at Townsville Video." He suppressed a laugh; she didn't seem to notice.

"I asked for a family film," She threw a DVD on the counter, "And you gave me this."

Butch picked up the DVD case cautiously and turned to the spine so that he could read the film he had given her. The DVD title on the spine read: _Clever Trevor - XXX._

Butch read it again and said confused, "It says here he's clever."

"Do you _know_ what the film is even about?" The old lady tried to say angrily, but her voice was too frail, "It's about a man named Trevor, who's life goal is to sleep with every girl he comes in contact with!"

"Sleep? Like in the same bed?" Butch said innocently, "That's silly,"

"Don't play stupid with me!" The old lady said, "Was this some kind of sick joke? I sat down and watched this with my grandchildren!"

"Oh," Butch said, "Well look at it this way – at least I gave you porn with a storyline. Could have been just straight-up naughty scenes. I went with production value and class."

"Did you even pay attention to what you were giving me?" The old lady asked.

Butch shrugged.

"So, see?" She sounded somewhat triumphant, for what Butch couldn't understand why, "You weren't paying any attention!"

Butch folded his arms and nodded, "And I hope it feels good."

"You hope _what_ feels good?"

"I hope it feels so good to be right." Butch said, "There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?"

"Well!" The old woman exasperated, "This is the last time I ever rent here!"

She turned his back on him and began to walk out the door.

Butch threw her a faux-salute, "You will be missed."

"SCREW YOU!" She slammed the door to the store.

Finally, Butch got up from behind the counter and slowly hovered down to the ground, running to the door, pushing it open with all his might – and consequently, scaring the bejeesus out of Mitch and Silent Mike.

"HEY!" Butch called after the old woman, "You're not allowed to rent here anymore!"

"Yeah!" Mitch called after the old lady, watching her as she got into her car.

Butch continued to stand outside, not being able to process what was so wrong about his film choice. He was rarely able to grasp the concept of him being wrong.

"Screw _me?_," He said incredulously.

"Wow," A small girlish voice said behind him, "Another satisfied customer, Butch."

Butch turned to see Robin from next door standing with Mitch and Silent Mike outside the video store. It registered for a split second that she was the extra silhouette he had seen on the sidewalk. Butch had never liked Robin – too holier-than-thou for her own good.

"What are you doing here?" Butch asked, not trying at all to mask his annoyance.

"Mike asked me to come down here," Robin said, "He has a cousin coming from out of town, but didn't want Mitch to be the only friend she met."

"Don't know why," Mitch protested, "I'm the best welcome wagon there ever was."

Butch ignored them and marched towards the Stop n' Go, ready to complain Boomer's ear off once again.

**(Chapter 3 - Coming Soon)**


End file.
